CHANGE

 Always on demanded. The only known way that can disapper the dissatisfaction. The cause and effect of everything. It is the one which suddenly comes and distributes, and the one which is planned and processed step by step. While it is in everything, it is not seen in anything, unknown but felt, visible and heard. Change. It does not go when it comes ones, and it does not come when you call. And the one can never be stopped. 

There comes a moment when that lava stack that has been sneaking from the bottom and sneaking inside you like the preparation of a volcano for days and months, suddenly shoots itself out. Either you change or you disappear. You don't usually have time to make a choice. You do actually, but you don't have the consciousness that makes the choice. Suddenly, without understanding, involuntarily. Suddenly. With all of you. You either fight or run away. No matter how hard you try, you cannot decide with your consciousness. Then? I wish to say goodness after beauty, but afterwards is pain. Don't be afraid right now. It's not as painful as it used to be. Admission afterwards. Not as difficult as the first. The post is a new life. Not as innocent as the first. All questions are answered, unanswered ones are erased. Where new questions arise but are not as interesting as before. In a way it is very ordinary. The mediocrity that is missed. Inside, the awareness that you can never be ordinary. It's like being an atheist janitor in a building where a different religious person lives on each floor. Or to be king in the country behind Kaf Mountain. Awareness of unintentional choices, sudden responsibilities. Eyes. What is desired to be seen with the eyes but can never be seen. Your eyes are not guilty. It's not that they can't see it, it's not there what you're looking for. Call whichever you look for, whoever you want. If he doesn't come, even if he does, that's not what you want. But loneliness always comes to you. Loneliness is both friend and foe. The devil of change. He's the devil you shouldn't follow. With change, loneliness is wrong. You are the focus. You want. What you feel. And Time. All the time, TIME. It is the one which passes. It does not come back whether you want it. Even if it comes, it would not be the real one. Brain. Sometimes it goes. It comes later. Although it is not what it hoped for, brain is always thankful and it continues on its way. Trust your brain and your body. They are aware of the time. You're too controlling. Give control to your soul. Then time will work on you. Then you will be the most beautiful color in your life as your life flows. Trust your soul, body, mind. Just a little trust.